Passive Momentum Horoscope 2008

2008 will begin strong dear Passive Momentum.  You will step back on to campus this spring with a rejuvenated heart and mind.  But not only are you a different person and ready to withstand all that religious education has to burden you with but you will be taking with you a new fashion sense.  Just as you were overcome by the rock stage last spring at Day on the Green, you will decide to always wear your Fly shades every moment you are at DTS for the next several years.  You enjoy this because it will keep your conservative brethren on edge about you.  IN addition when people ask you why do you wear sunglasses all the time you will respond with a simple:  “I’m The Fly beeyotch” (said without a smile on most occassions).  You will go on to explain to horrified looks that The Fly is a distant cousin of Machpisto who you also like to dress up like during Winter Soltice.  This of course will lead you exactly to the conversations you want to have that are focused on music from Ireland and have human and spiritual substance.  As well you will never be invited to DTS Casino Night because most will assume you are a past World Series of Poker Champion.  But that is ok by you because your plate is already full with an abundant and enjoyable life with your family who love and support not only your going back to school but more importantly the sunglasses.  2008 will be a flashback in many way to the 80’s for you.  You will drop the acoustic guitar and pick the Casio keyboard back up for worship.  You will reject popular and unsecular music for the old standards like Michael W.  Smith until such day as your loving wife informs you that The Fly would never spin a MWS disk.  To which you reply:  Good point, he is dead to me.  And henceforth you will throw out your recently acquired paisley sweater and distance yourself from Nashville and Christian music all together.  2008 will be the year that your closeted man crush on Tony Jones will be revealed for all the world to see.  While a divisive character on the landscape of Christian evangelicalism, it is clear he is a sort of spiritual mentor to you from a far in some ways.  You will get a chance to meet Tony on March 20th when he at Barnes and Noble signing books at his book release here in Dallas.  He will greet you warmly and then immediately offend you for associating with such a soft mind like el mol.  From there you will make a pilgrimage to follow Tony around on his Barnes and Noble tour to the point where he freaks out when he sees you in every city.  You will be arrested in Chicago by declaring in front of God and everyone that Tony Jones is the new John the Baptist all the while adding frothing at the mouth to your sunglasses get up.  This of course will put you back in good standing at seminary because they will simply see that you were arrested at an emergent gathering and assume it was a protest.  You go with that because now students embrace the shades and you are accepted and honored as a brave evangelical saint.

Here’s to a great 2008 sir.  I appreciate our friendship.

Viva 08.

el mol

Comments

[Blogbarger]

Totally surreal. A whole post dedicated to Passive McPhisto. I laughed, I cried. I will buy you a beer the next time I'm with you. I also may just drop kick you. We'll see how accurate your crystal ball is by this time next year. Casio keyboard? Maybe. Smitty? Never. DTS Fly shades? Probably. Thanks buddy.

[Hakeem Abdul Olajuwon]

El Mol Horoscope 2008:

four words:

Fight Club Panel: Reduex