el mol

God Made Chicken

Please Vote Now for Ronnie Fauss (MOL Junior) and his daughter Phoebe as they try to win a lifetime of chicken or money for college (Notre Dame).

Vote HERE

viva Chik Fil A

HSO from Fauss

Dear Dallas

Just a few thoughts as we bustle into the new year:

- Toll Roads do not improve metropolitan traffic.  They make it worst.  Just ask LA who got their mass transit 30 years too late and will never recover

- The new HOV (High Occupancy Vehicles) Lanes are not for dumping trash or panicking and crashing in daily.  They will also not solve the massive traffic problem we have.

- Going to Cabo San Lucas with your high profile girlfriend and teammate before the biggest playoff in a decade is only genius if you win on Sunday.  If you do not, it will be marked as the biggest flub since your field goal mess up last year and Jackie Smith against the 70's Steelers.

- The Brady Quinn crowd is slightly different than the Shiny Shirt Crowd but possibly as irritating?

viva la dallas

PlaceMatt Horoscope 2008 (belated birthday edition)

This is your big year Placematt as you turn 45.  You have made the correct decision by purchasing darker frames that turn your already dominating personality into a formidable first meet and greet for anyone of sensitive constitution.  Tomorrow you are nine years old and you will spend much of 08 as you did 07, looking for people and places to explode with your optimism and vision.  But something will be different for you Capricorn this year as many of the things that you have envisioned for years will come to fruition.  Your crappy widget jpeg will become a dominating force in web world and your dream of being a daddy of many will become a doubled effort that will force you to decide what to do with your blogspot.  But instead of being able to decide for yourself, Emmy will plainly and simply ask you to leave the presentation as she no longer needs to share the stage with a glory hog.  Your wife and family will appreciate the extra attention and diligence in all things Dobson as Emmy runs the blog you will change diapers and buy your wonderful wife flowers.  But that will only buy a couple opportunities to kick it with the brethren at a couple critical late night roger clyne / brent best / Rhett miller extravaganzas that will only leave you wanting for more.  So in a moment of distraction and weakness you will take your buddies challenge to rebuild his bronco engine.  But wolfman is there to support the salt-water engine conversion.  Anything is possible and anything is redeemable.  That is your greatest contribution to mankind.  As you explode in influence don’t forget your white trash friends and Midwest sensibilities.  You will need them when it gets too much.  Here’s to you PlaceMatt.  You have only a notion of the greatness.  Thanks for your friendship and happy birthday.

Viva 08

el mol

Passive Momentum Horoscope 2008

2008 will begin strong dear Passive Momentum.  You will step back on to campus this spring with a rejuvenated heart and mind.  But not only are you a different person and ready to withstand all that religious education has to burden you with but you will be taking with you a new fashion sense.  Just as you were overcome by the rock stage last spring at Day on the Green, you will decide to always wear your Fly shades every moment you are at DTS for the next several years.  You enjoy this because it will keep your conservative brethren on edge about you.  IN addition when people ask you why do you wear sunglasses all the time you will respond with a simple:  “I’m The Fly beeyotch” (said without a smile on most occassions).  You will go on to explain to horrified looks that The Fly is a distant cousin of Machpisto who you also like to dress up like during Winter Soltice.  This of course will lead you exactly to the conversations you want to have that are focused on music from Ireland and have human and spiritual substance.  As well you will never be invited to DTS Casino Night because most will assume you are a past World Series of Poker Champion.  But that is ok by you because your plate is already full with an abundant and enjoyable life with your family who love and support not only your going back to school but more importantly the sunglasses.  2008 will be a flashback in many way to the 80’s for you.  You will drop the acoustic guitar and pick the Casio keyboard back up for worship.  You will reject popular and unsecular music for the old standards like Michael W.  Smith until such day as your loving wife informs you that The Fly would never spin a MWS disk.  To which you reply:  Good point, he is dead to me.  And henceforth you will throw out your recently acquired paisley sweater and distance yourself from Nashville and Christian music all together.  2008 will be the year that your closeted man crush on Tony Jones will be revealed for all the world to see.  While a divisive character on the landscape of Christian evangelicalism, it is clear he is a sort of spiritual mentor to you from a far in some ways.  You will get a chance to meet Tony on March 20th when he at Barnes and Noble signing books at his book release here in Dallas.  He will greet you warmly and then immediately offend you for associating with such a soft mind like el mol.  From there you will make a pilgrimage to follow Tony around on his Barnes and Noble tour to the point where he freaks out when he sees you in every city.  You will be arrested in Chicago by declaring in front of God and everyone that Tony Jones is the new John the Baptist all the while adding frothing at the mouth to your sunglasses get up.  This of course will put you back in good standing at seminary because they will simply see that you were arrested at an emergent gathering and assume it was a protest.  You go with that because now students embrace the shades and you are accepted and honored as a brave evangelical saint.

Here’s to a great 2008 sir.  I appreciate our friendship.

Viva 08.

el mol

MOL Junior Horoscope 2008

MOL Junior
This is the year of Junior I believe.  He will be confronted with professional opportunities that will challenge his daily dual role as OCD fantasy sports guru.  He will once again appear at the annual Day on the Green at our church and spend the whole day drawing attention to himself primarily by using his daughter as a spin dancer during God Made Chicken.  He will continue to make wildy unfounded claims on his blog and stand by all of them.  He will continue his genius tradition of reviewing all things pop culture and occasionally get things right.  He will once again spend the year highly overrating anything with a banjo or pedal steel guitar and underrate music that does not include those instruments.  He will take over the reigns as Commissioner of MMBL and make it a better place for all participants.  He will receive multiple invitations from YellowJackets management to cheat on their behalf.  He will refuse until offered $6.  He and Papa Ceasar will continue their ridiculous feud over a chai latte that will come to a head in an early spring poker reunion in my old garage.  He will continue to suffer from not having lunch with me weekly at Pluckers and be less informed on the geo political scene.  He will ask for a do over on several opinions he has held to since his early childhood in Sugarland, TX.  He and his wonderful family will blossom and enjoy life this year despite his multiple other short sided failures in other walks of life.  He will be asked to be a deacon at church and reply with :  “Let me ask you this:  Would Brent Best say yes to being an deacon at this church”?  He will go into the studio with Joe Butcher (aka sasquatch who plays pedal steel) and develop such an awkward mancrush on this man with a mustache that Butcher will seek a restraining order from the Dallas Police Department even after several repeated attempts by Sound and Fury to let it go.  His two albums in 2008 will be surprisingly good and will not include extra dance tracks.  We will make our way to the Barley House multiple times hoping that Brent Best grows his Grizzley Adams beard back and plays Robert Cole.  He will wink at me knowing that he was the one who convinced me of the genius of Best and I will have to agree.  We won’t recognize it happening but we will continue to enjoy a hearty friendship (gay?) to the point where our wives will finally conspire together to keep us apart.  Here’s to you Junior.  Have a great year.  You are a great friend

Viva 08

el mol

The Christmas Card

Let me begin by saying thank you to each and every person who sent us a Christmas card.  While the tradition has changed much of the last decade as Gen Xers have had children, it is still a highlight this time of year.   Less cards and more mini family documentaries but I don't care.  I love em both.  The card takes time and energy and keeps an old tradition of actual hand written notes alive and well.  The mini-docs are amusing and certainly solipsistic at times but as a guy who has moved so much as an adult I look forward to tracking the lives and times of friends from past geographies that I don't get to keep in touch with.  Genius quote the other day from LLPH:  "I didn't know Chris had a son" . . . (18 month old son pictured). 

in on the Christmas card and in on people who take the time to do them and feeling like Cheryl and i should pick this up again after ten years.  And no, we will not be sending pictures of our dogs with red antlers on them.

viva 08

el mol