Kyle Lake

You snuck up on me my friend and I cannot put words to how my heart is broken for you and your wonderful family.

I am not sure when it occurred exactly. One day we are working together on projects that encompass our work and then without me quite noticing really you have occupied a very significant place in my heart.  Barely a week goes by without a phone call or text message. 

Including last Friday when I called to see what clip from Garden State he was going to show at church.  We had seen that movie together a couple years ago now on what had become a fairly regular tradition for Scott, Kyle and I where we would get together for any combination of a round of drinks, movie and dinner.  These evenings had a certain genius formula to them.  At some point Scott would jokingly call out Kyle half way through his first margarita for being drunk, Kyle would at some point go completely non sensical, Scott would carry the conversation completely off the charts and we at some point would all melt down into laughter that led to tears.  Including the ridiculous time when an attractive waitress arrived at our table and asked us what we would like to drink and scott replied with the ridiculous “we are married and pastors”. . . . Kyle and I looked at each other with extreme embarrassment and proceeded to fall apart.

When I first met Kyle I liked him and thought he would be a great Pastor.  I mean it is hard not to with his boyish good looks, million dollar smile and charm that fills a tall building.  We had some really good laughs early on as our work intersected on occasion.  We threw a party together at his church UBC when I worked for Leadership Network.  Scott, Kyle and I have laughed on almost every occasion since we have gotten together reflecting back on one great moment (the particulars of which shall remain between us) during that get together during a genius Brad Cecil presentation where he was essentially doing brain surgery on the not yet compliant Pastoral crowd.   I whispered to Scott who whispered to Kyle . . . We giggled our way though the rest of that talk knowing Brad had it under control anyhow.

Some time later as life hit a bit of a rough patch for me, Kyle was kind enough to invite me out to his ranch for a little Spring Turkey chasing.  It was a perfect getaway.  The kind touch was topped off when we actually called some birds into very close range and he actually gave me first shot.  I passed on what I thought was a young bird.  I sat there for what must of have been 2 minutes with my gun poised and Kyle giggling beside me saying “take him if you want Mitch”.  So he had that on me for years.  But to me his gesture was immensely special.

That visit was the first of several over the years.  The greatest being the time a miracle happened and the schedules of the great Scott Gornto, Kyle Lake and lowly Jason Mitchell freed up at the same time to allow us to visit the ranch together.  That trip had so many great moments.  Seeing Scott shouldering a gun was almost enough.  Seeing him in the back of the truck at night with Kyle and I in the cab of his truck looking for something "legit" to shoot.  When all we could find was a tiny baby rabbit, Kyle jokingly shouted from the cab to "SHOOT" and Scott proceeded to quit for the evening because he felt so bad.  We did too but it was pretty funny just the same.  That trip was culminated with Scotty turning over his four wheeler in our presence that once again brought us all to tears with laughter.  Though we never made a kill, that is never really what we went down there for (RMC).

I tell you what I will miss the most about Kyle.  Sure there is the great sense of humor and friendship.  But he had a certain way about him that brought a sense of peace to my often chaotic soul.  Scott and I used to marvel at his personality.  We would often say how to our anxious personality he was so chill, to our explosiveness he was so restrained and to our melancholy he was so happy go lucky.  From our vantage point he had a more simple approach to our constantly over complicating every aspect of life.  We were in awe of him really.  But it was a gift too.  Because when we were with him, he had such a calming and healing affect on us I believe.  In addition, I never took this to mean lack of intellect or thoughtfulness.  After all to date he has put two very thoughtful books under his belt.  One a thoughtful new look at understanding God’s will and another a great book on the practice of prayer.  His books were a perfect collision of his great sense of humor, his pastoral compassion and sharp intellect. 

The way you have left us friend is so sad and so tragic and honestly a bit ironic.  You left on a grand stage in such dramatic manner.  Something that I never would wish on anyone in death but thought you deserved in life young man.  And herein lies a tiny point of contention between us.  Kyle was such a un-assuming person, such the anti MOL.  I told him after book one that it was time to set aside his humility and lack of self-promotion and to “explode your MOL”.  I thought his thoughts and ideas which already had large influence locally and growing influence through his books had limitless potential because his voice was so refreshing, non deconstructive and offered a new place for Christian practice to launch from.  To my MOL encouragements he would just giggle . . .I was not kidding.  And ultimately this is why I probably loved him so much.  Because he was so special but he did not consider himself as such. 

I miss you already so much Kyle.  You are a great friend . . .a prince really. 

Here’s to you.

el mol

Comments

[Lindsay A.]

Beautiful memories......thanks for sharing

[Chris Linebarger]

Well written, Jason. Wish I could have know him. One day I will.

[A Mangefeste]

Shaun Grove's website. He wrote something about Kyle in it that really touched my heart. Thought you might want to read it.
Go to :
www.shlog.com

[Stealth]

Jason,

What an amazing friendship you had with Kyle. I know that you were both blessed by that! I will continue to pray for you as you mourn his loss.

[Jiff]

How often is it that someone who lived in our lifetime actually encourages us to become better people. To change. To be the person we want to be. That's what I get from this guy. You and Fauss... both of what you wrote point me to that. Thanks, man.

[Existential Punk]

I never met Kyle, but wanted to thank you for your moving tribute to him. I now have a glimpse of what you had the chance to experience more deeply.I am sos orry for your loss. Pax, Adele

[pinkrevolver]

I am so sorry, Jason....I wish I had more to say than that, but I don't.

Do you know if a memorial trust fund or anything has been set up for his children? If so, please let me know.

I am praying for you and Kyle's family....

[DT]

Thanks for the moving tribute. To think of all of the times I could've done the very same thing. One slip. One fumble. Life's thread is short and tenuous. But in Kyle's case, it was too short, but well-lived. Sympathies...DT.

[Matt Linebarger]

Sorry for your loss. Sounds like a great guy.

[FAM]

Today at work I walked around the sales floor with the book "Understanding God's will" and shared a bit of Kyle's story (via your blog & Jr.) with a few people. I need to connect personally, but since I didn't know him, I used some of your words, and also read bits from his book. I'm sure my feeble ability of expression did not do him justice, but people seemed to be touched.

[davidt]

amazing. great memories.

[scott ayres]

This event has been hard, real hard for me. On one hand I understand where he's gone and I know he has received he gift that we all long for. But, on the other hand I'm overwhelmed at time with grief and anger. I either want to laugh about the jokes and stories Kyle used to tell over a burger and shuffleboard at Crickets, or cry, no sob, over the loss of perhaps one of the most influential people in my past, or I get so pissed off I cuss at God and want to give up this whole damn thing we call religion. Why would our God allow something like this to happen to a man of God who is doing His work?? Just makes no sense to me...

I think what pains me most is that I never took the opportunity to tell Kyle how much he meant to me and how much he influenced me. It's funny how we don't realize those things until something tragic happens.. We get so wrapped up and caught up in ourselves, and our own pursuits that we forget to pause and thank the ones that got us here. So, I want to take a moment and publicly thank Kyle for what he was and is to me.

Thanks for being a free spirit.
Thanks for making me laugh and laugh alot.
Thanks for being the one back when we started the 2nd or 3rd married couples group at UBC to break the ackward silence when topics got tough (and by breaking the silence I mean breaking wind at times!)
Thanks for being there for Lisa and I after our first miscarriage, with a smile on your face and a casserole dish in hand!
Thanks for letting me yell at you and your God.
Thanks for letting me get angry and not telling me I was going to hell for telling God to fuck off.
Thanks for healing me and showing me how to trust in God again.
Thanks for being at the hospital at our 2nd miscarriage and making fun of Lisa's socks as she went under anesthesia.
Thanks for your prayers.
Thanks for the lunches at Cricket's and for letting me whip you at pool a few times, although I think you always won at shuffleboard, too much of a girlie sport like soccer for me!!
Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder, snot and all.
Thanks for buying me breakfast at Barry's Bagels one morning so we could discuss me getting into youth ministry.
Thanks for telling me it was ok to mess up and just be me, the kids will appreciate honesty instead of political correctness.
Thanks for being my reference as I applied at churches and putting your reputation on the line for me (although at the time your reputation wasn't that good! It was 1999 afterall!).
Thanks for crying with us as we left UBC, our home, to pursue what God had in store for us.
Thanks for wearing those goofy zip up padded vests. I thought only my trucker dad wore those, somehow you made them look cool.
Thanks for being just a phone call or email away when I wanted to catch up every couple of months.
Thanks for preaching from your heart.
Thanks for not taking yourself seriously at all.
Thanks for showing all of us that pastors aren't hypocrits.
Thanks for being honest.
Thanks for being an author.
Thanks for being a movie watcher.
Thanks for wiping a booger on me once during a prayer!
Thanks for being a husband and for showing young college students how to love your wife.
Thanks for being a dad, I wish I could have seen you with your kids, I know you were great...
Thanks for being my pastor.
Thanks for being my friend.
Thanks for being you.....

I'll miss ya man, enjoy Heaven, and save a place for me at the pool table.. I get winner...

Grace and Peace,

Scott Ayres
Minister through Sports and Recreation
The PARC @ SLFUMC
www.theparc.org

If you're looking for ways to donate, go to www.ubcwaco.org

[ Lisa and I started going to UBC, less than a year after it started, in early '96. The church grew so fast in that first year, that during the Baylor school year it had to meet at the Hippodrome (an old civic theatre seating close to 1000). Now when Baylor was out, we went back to reality and met at this tiny, old church house with maybe 25-40 of us there. Kyle came on staff shortly after this (maybe a year or so) and fit right in with us. It was an exciting time when we bought the building on Dutton and started renovating it and making it our own. Lisa and I went to church there for 4-5 years and left the church maybe 6 months after Kyle took over for Chris (Chris moved back to Houston to start Ecclesia). It was hard for us all, but Kyle filled his shoes well and didn't miss a beat in pastoring the community there. Lisa and I had a hard time leaving in late '99 as God called us into youth ministry at this small country church out in the sticks, but it was what God wanted for us. And I remember Kyle being so supportive of it and helping me through it. We got to know Kyle and Jenn well the previous year or so in our married bible study group. Kyle and Jenn were a part of our 3rd year of meeting and were freshly newlyweds, man they would make me sick!!! I can't think of any other couple besides Lisa and myself that were more in love..]

[Jody Lake]

November 17, 2005

Jeffrey Kyle Lake was special. He was different and for those who were fortunate enough to be close to him, they knew this. I love Kyle. I miss my brother and one of my best friends. I was blessed to have been close to him for 33 years. It pains me to live life without a friend that brought me so much joy
in living life.

For years we teased Kyle that he was adopted. He was so different with his sandy blonde hair and calming blue eyes. He was a sparkling and radiant person.
Kyle was never adopted by my parents. We are full blooded brothers and friends. No, Kyle was on loan to us for 33 years and I thank God for that
time together, but I wish I had more.

We played soccer together. My senior year in High School, Kyle made the varsity team as a sophomore. During one practice, coach selected me as one of 6
captains for a 5 on 5 drill. My first selection was Kyle. Many of the other guys on the team made fun of us for my selection of Kyle. I next chose Joel
"Bubba" Smith. We faired very well. The truth was that I knew Kyle was good, very good. We played soccer together since the time I turned 5. I miss playing soccer with my friend, Kyle.

A few years ago, Kyle and I were able to go on a turkey hunt together. One beautiful spring morning, we sat under a cedar tree while calling in a
gobbler. Within a matter of minutes, a beautiful gobbler that was fanned up and drumming came in close to us. Two other birds were with the gobbler. The
birds came within a few feet of us. Neither one of us took a shot at the birds. We embraced the beauty and serenity of the moment and enjoyed our hunt
together. I will miss hunting with my brother, Kyle.

Today is a different day. It's quieter today than it was 18 days ago. I wish Kyle were here to visit with over a cup of coffee. I would love to send him a
funny text message and receive one back from him. Extraordinarily gifted, Kyle could make anyone laugh. He was also a talented writer, as well as speaker. He was such a good brother, friend, counselor and pastor. I'm going to miss
Kyle.

Although I believe he is in our presence and I will someday see Kyle again, I miss him. In the days, weeks, and months ahead I ask for your continued prayers over Jenn, Avery, Jude and Sutton and our family. Through God's grace and goodness, one day soon, we will all be together. God bless.

Jody Lake